A time comes in your life when you finally get it . . . when in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out: ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears, and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter)and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are . . . and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you,) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself, and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with ,and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.



1 | 2

 

Finding this website was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time, I cannot express how happy I am that I am finally not alone in this situation anymore. Thank you all of you for just being there!!!!!!!!! HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY

"Hi Beverly ~ It was great to talk to you today...AND I forgot to say THANK-YOU!!!! for developing your web site for people like me.  When no one else was there ~ when no one "understood" how I felt ~ you and all of those wonderful non-custodial moms WERE THERE.  That is priceless.  You have a very special place in my heart and many other hearts for your hard work and compassion..”

NANCM has been my lifeline since I stumbled upon the website 4 months ago. The support, understanding and information has proved invaluable to me as I struggle with my NCM status.

" I found this website tonight. What a wonderful way to look for advice, support and a sounding board. For sooo long I felt as though I was alone. There is no way that anyone can understand the pain we feel unless they have experienced it themselves."

Sydney, NSW

Click Here to Read More.