Journeys of Women Without Custody

From Ambivalence to a Renewed Sense of Self

by: Annette Pagano, Psy.D.

(Member of NANCM’s Board of Directors)

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Through the changing mores of American society, we have become tolerant of non-traditional families and flexible gender roles. When families experience the trauma of divorce, they have to adapt the best they can to altered economic and social circumstances. And while we smile indulgently at the concept of "Mr.Mom," the bumbling father who gamely throws himself into the difficult tasks of homemaking and nurturing children, we still harshly judge the mother who, for whatever reason, does not have custody of her children. For many, that woman is a modern-day Medea; perceived to have sacrificed her children to satisfy her own selfish wants and needs.

Non-custodial mothers and their image in society are the subject of this in-depth, compassionate study by Annette Mayo Pagano, Psy.D. Through a series of revealing interviews, Dr. Pagano examines the lives of nine women from all walks of life who redefine the role of mother in this non-traditional context.

A Mother Apart

How to let go of guilt & find happiness living apart from your child.

by: Sarah Hart

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In this touching, inspiring and deeply wise book, Sarah Hart has distilled the wisdom of her extensive personal and professional experience. It is a book to treasure, to return to again and again as compassion, insight and useful practical suggestions leap off every page. Sarah covers all the struggles and heartaches mothers in this situation are likely to encounter and shows us how to reach a deeper healing and love than we might ever have imagined possible. I am delighted such a beautiful book has been written at last about such a painful and frequently misjudged subject and wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone interested in the challenges of love, especially mothers, and most of all to those who love their children from afar. Anne Geraghty - author of In the Dark and Still Moving

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Finding this website was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time, I cannot express how happy I am that I am finally not alone in this situation anymore. Thank you all of you for just being there!!!!!!!!! HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY

"Hi Beverly ~ It was great to talk to you today...AND I forgot to say THANK-YOU!!!! for developing your web site for people like me.  When no one else was there ~ when no one "understood" how I felt ~ you and all of those wonderful non-custodial moms WERE THERE.  That is priceless.  You have a very special place in my heart and many other hearts for your hard work and compassion..”

NANCM has been my lifeline since I stumbled upon the website 4 months ago. The support, understanding and information has proved invaluable to me as I struggle with my NCM status.

" I found this website tonight. What a wonderful way to look for advice, support and a sounding board. For sooo long I felt as though I was alone. There is no way that anyone can understand the pain we feel unless they have experienced it themselves."

Sydney, NSW

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